New year's resolutions 2014!

Boop!
First of all, sorry I haven't been around much, my christmas has been so stressful. I haven't really had time to do anything, but I'm back now. I hope you all had an amazing christmas with your families and a fantastic new year with the people you love!

As the title reveals, I will talk about new year's resolutions for a moment. Mainly because I do have a few myself, but also because I want to share my view on how to make a "proper" new year's resolution. If this was a youtube video, I'd make a jump cut right here.

Making a new year's resolution
Let's be honest for a moment. How many people manage to actually keep the classic resolutions? Lose weight, quit smoking, floss daily, the list goes on.
I've had so many of these classic new year's resolutions, and to be honest, I never actually kept them. When I started high school in 2011, I realised that I'd been doing the resolutions all wrong. I had to make new year's resolutions that I knew I could keep instead of making things that I should do.
To make a good new year's resolution, think about this:

* Will you be able to keep it?
* Is it simple?
* Is it too optimistic (i.e. "quit smoking")
* How will you do it?


New year's resolutions through the years
In 2011, my new year's resolution was to be more thankful. I hadn't been very good at thanking people and showing gratitude, but I decided that enough was enough and made it my new year's resolution. That was the first year I kept a new year's resolution, so I was really proud. This was when I decided to do this properly.
In 2012 my new year's resolution was to cut down self harming. I didn't want to force myself to stop completely, because I knew that wouldn't happen, but for christmas 2012, I hadn't self harmed for about a month.
In 2013, my new year's resolution was to be happier. I know this is one of the cliché ones, but it made sense. When I reached September, my psychologist told me that I would be off citalopram for christmas, if everything remained the same. It did, so I'm partially med-free now.

In 2013 my friend and I agreed that when we celebrate new year 2014, we should both have a boyfriend. That's not really my new year's resolution though. For 2014, my new year's resolution is to make my mum proud. I know she'll be proud of me when I get my graduation cap after finishing my last exam this summer, so that's what I'm aiming for.

Do you have any new year's resolutions? Tell me about it!

I am a listener

This is probably going to be long and personal. If you don't want that, you can stop reading now, I won't judge you.I'm a listener. I feel a certain responsibility upon the people I know. I feel so much responsibility, that I sometimes forget myself. I don't do that on purpose, I just care so much about everyone, that I can't let them feel bad. I love listening if people need to talk to someone, and I usually do my very best to help them. I look at things this way: if I can help just one person in need, I get better. I try to tell people that I'll gladly help them, but I don't think they ever plan on asking for my help. I want to make sure that all my friends are doing okay, so I ask them to tell me when they need someone to listen, because I know how it feels to have no one to talk to. It tends to get me to the head, and I seem clingy, which is horrible, because I just want to help.
I lost one friend by letting her down, and I don't want to lose another, so I do my best to ask if there's anything I can do, when they're upset. I write poetry when I'm upset, and this is what came out of losing my friend: 
She is alone once again Alone, only the bottles keep her company One is emptied, another is opened One is broken, another is taken from the box One is broken, as goes for her skin Her skin, her mind, her hopes Everything is broken A bottle broken, a piece of broken bottle It feels like it helps As she tears her skin open once again Little does she know that someone is watching Someone, who wants to help Someone who keeps asking her They want to know what is wrong But she tells nothing She keeps quiet No one knows that she is in pain Because she cannot tell She does not want people to know They interfere She wants to make an end to it The bottles, the pain, the misery Misery loves company Company loves more She loves the relief The scars provide The glass is open Once again She opens a bottle to follow Little does she know It has become a problem A seemingly unsolvable problem At age eighteen Is it normal Will it ever be? Having these problems are not normal Not at that age The pills to kill the pain The pills to kill the misery The pills that will eventually kill her She stopped caring a long time ago One goes down Two go down Three go down Three should do it She ends her life Little does she know She took one more life Little does she know, she took mine too

If you've read this, please let me know! If so, thank you!